Ridiculous pressure

In retrospect, everything seems clear. Backward vision is always 20/20. Sometimes I wish I had a little bit more clarity when it came to allowing people to make me feel bad about my decisions or plight in life.

I'm a family person. The most important thing for me is my kids and husband and I will do whatever it takes to be with them as much as possible.  So that means if I don't have to attend an event on Saturday and can spend the day with my kids, I'm going to do it. I have allowed individuals to place guilt on me for not participating in events where I would have to sacrifice my time with my kids. And I regret feeling that way. They are the most important thing right now.

When they grow up and move away, I can be more involved in activities outside of the house, but right now. Home time is my priority and i'm not going to feel guilty for making that a priority.

Being Fully Present

I'm guilty of not being fully present each moment of the day and came across this article and it hit home. I'm going to try the recommended one minute of focus and see how things go. Now, just finding one minute alone will prove to be the real challenge!

From the article from Fast Company (awesome site, btw) you should subscribe to their feed!

First, find a reasonably quiet place where you can close your eyes (whether standing or sitting).
Set a timer for one minute. Close your eyes and focus on one of the following three things: the sounds around you, your breathing, or the sensations in your toes.

1. Scan your environment for sound. As a meditation teacher told me, “Imagine that your ears are satellite dishes, passively and objectively registering sounds.”

2. Focus on your breath and the sensations it creates in your nostrils or stomach. Pay attention to one breath at a time, but try to notice everything about this one breath. Imagine that your breath is someone you want to give your full attention to.

3. Focus your attention on the sensations in your toes. This forces your mind to sweep through your body, helping you to get into the physical sensations of the moment.

Cancer Free!

Recently my lovely dermatologist scared the absolute crap out of me and became concerned about a mole on my inner left leg that he felt was growing and changing. He muttered the words melanoma a few times. Having already had a cancerous spot removed from my forehead, I was totally alert to any new spots on my body to show him. I have never been concerned about this spot on my leg, it's my birthmark. It's been there my whole life. I don't remember life without it.

Anyhow, he biopsied it and it's benign. Just an ugly old mole. Whew. No more nasty words like melanoma for me, thank you very much!

The Pressure

Thought I would share a poem I read a few days ago from Tara Sophia Mohr of wise living. It hit me hard when I read it and haven't stopped thinking about it. It holds many truths. Makes me re-evaluate my focus on a daily basis.

The poem is below:

the pressure to have an arm that looks like that
and legs that look like that
and a belly like that

pressure to tone this to that
to be a size this
weigh that

How many days have you lost?
How many murders of yourself?

How many times have you
clamped down because of it,
quieted the moon because of it,
or didn’t ask the sun to dance?

She mourned this one morning,
and wondered,
what would it be like, without the pressure?

-Tara Sophia Mohr

Remodel before and afters: phase 1

We are having our kitchen remodeled in the coming weeks and I am so very excited about this process. While the contractor was here giving us our quote for the kitchen re-do, the longer he stayed, the more stuff my husband kept adding to his list. So yesterday, nothing happened in our kitchen, but our front doors were replaced. And seriously, this girl couldn't be happier.

The original doors were from 1974.... eek!

The screen door was just as atrocious...but not from 1974. At least 1994.

You can't see it in this picture, but the bottom had a huge gapping space between the threshold and the bottom of the door. It was big. Small animals could have entered through there. My daughter enjoyed throwing crap through there when the weather was nice enough to have the door open that had an enormous hole in it!


and the after pictures....

And the screen door...

Next phase is the kitchen... that should start next week and I'm really ready for that. Pictures to follow!

Ready, Set....

Started the first full day of the Visalus shakes and I'm off to a good start. I tried a shake this past weekend and yesterday and they were very good. Found several sites that have tons of recipes for making the shakes delicious.

Anyhow, the shake I had this morning was barf-a-roni which normally would be my automatic excuse to NOT continue on the program. I'm a rationalize-er... let me tell you. But, I held my nose and drank the crap. It was just a poor recipe, and I realized that. I'm disgressing here. So, I'm also trying to track my food I eat. I brought lots of fruits and veggies to work and I'm snacking on those foods all day.

Here's the truth for the day: It's all about balance. The days I ate poorly or just horrendously must be balance with days in which I exercise and eat right.

It's all in symmetry. Replace the bad days with the good days. The M&Ms with carrot sticks. The pizza slices with watermelon slices. I'm trying here... just want to be healthier!

Rationalize-er

Need this reality check. I'm a chronic rationalize-er, if that's a word. Since deciding to do the ViSalus 90 Day Challenge, I've had to do alot of reading on how to do the program and lose the weight. And I've come across a site I like. It speaks my language, man.

Excerpt: "To re-cap: we are aiming to consume what our body needs daily so that it has enough energy to burn fat and function properly."

Well, duh. I know that, but chose to ignore it. I ignored it because I rationalize that I like to cook. That I like to eat. That I'm a southern girl and that's just what we are: fluffy. Not so!

I was venting to a friend yesterday that I worry about getting on a diet because I tend to obsess and she remarked that you have to obsess in order to lose weight. I've been taking the negative side this weight loss thing and defeating myself before I even started... so why should I try to lose weight?

I've been thin nearly all my life with some exceptions, mainly after children and during high times of stress. I enjoyed being thin. So I'm ready to enjoy my life again. It has to be. I have a crap ton of old clothes in my attic that need me. I need to be able to tell my husband it's time to get those down.

Ok, enough already. Let's do this!