Ridiculous pressure

In retrospect, everything seems clear. Backward vision is always 20/20. Sometimes I wish I had a little bit more clarity when it came to allowing people to make me feel bad about my decisions or plight in life.

I'm a family person. The most important thing for me is my kids and husband and I will do whatever it takes to be with them as much as possible.  So that means if I don't have to attend an event on Saturday and can spend the day with my kids, I'm going to do it. I have allowed individuals to place guilt on me for not participating in events where I would have to sacrifice my time with my kids. And I regret feeling that way. They are the most important thing right now.

When they grow up and move away, I can be more involved in activities outside of the house, but right now. Home time is my priority and i'm not going to feel guilty for making that a priority.

Being Fully Present

I'm guilty of not being fully present each moment of the day and came across this article and it hit home. I'm going to try the recommended one minute of focus and see how things go. Now, just finding one minute alone will prove to be the real challenge!

From the article from Fast Company (awesome site, btw) you should subscribe to their feed!

First, find a reasonably quiet place where you can close your eyes (whether standing or sitting).
Set a timer for one minute. Close your eyes and focus on one of the following three things: the sounds around you, your breathing, or the sensations in your toes.

1. Scan your environment for sound. As a meditation teacher told me, “Imagine that your ears are satellite dishes, passively and objectively registering sounds.”

2. Focus on your breath and the sensations it creates in your nostrils or stomach. Pay attention to one breath at a time, but try to notice everything about this one breath. Imagine that your breath is someone you want to give your full attention to.

3. Focus your attention on the sensations in your toes. This forces your mind to sweep through your body, helping you to get into the physical sensations of the moment.

Cancer Free!

Recently my lovely dermatologist scared the absolute crap out of me and became concerned about a mole on my inner left leg that he felt was growing and changing. He muttered the words melanoma a few times. Having already had a cancerous spot removed from my forehead, I was totally alert to any new spots on my body to show him. I have never been concerned about this spot on my leg, it's my birthmark. It's been there my whole life. I don't remember life without it.

Anyhow, he biopsied it and it's benign. Just an ugly old mole. Whew. No more nasty words like melanoma for me, thank you very much!

The Pressure

Thought I would share a poem I read a few days ago from Tara Sophia Mohr of wise living. It hit me hard when I read it and haven't stopped thinking about it. It holds many truths. Makes me re-evaluate my focus on a daily basis.

The poem is below:

the pressure to have an arm that looks like that
and legs that look like that
and a belly like that

pressure to tone this to that
to be a size this
weigh that

How many days have you lost?
How many murders of yourself?

How many times have you
clamped down because of it,
quieted the moon because of it,
or didn’t ask the sun to dance?

She mourned this one morning,
and wondered,
what would it be like, without the pressure?

-Tara Sophia Mohr

Remodel before and afters: phase 1

We are having our kitchen remodeled in the coming weeks and I am so very excited about this process. While the contractor was here giving us our quote for the kitchen re-do, the longer he stayed, the more stuff my husband kept adding to his list. So yesterday, nothing happened in our kitchen, but our front doors were replaced. And seriously, this girl couldn't be happier.

The original doors were from 1974.... eek!

The screen door was just as atrocious...but not from 1974. At least 1994.

You can't see it in this picture, but the bottom had a huge gapping space between the threshold and the bottom of the door. It was big. Small animals could have entered through there. My daughter enjoyed throwing crap through there when the weather was nice enough to have the door open that had an enormous hole in it!


and the after pictures....

And the screen door...

Next phase is the kitchen... that should start next week and I'm really ready for that. Pictures to follow!

Ready, Set....

Started the first full day of the Visalus shakes and I'm off to a good start. I tried a shake this past weekend and yesterday and they were very good. Found several sites that have tons of recipes for making the shakes delicious.

Anyhow, the shake I had this morning was barf-a-roni which normally would be my automatic excuse to NOT continue on the program. I'm a rationalize-er... let me tell you. But, I held my nose and drank the crap. It was just a poor recipe, and I realized that. I'm disgressing here. So, I'm also trying to track my food I eat. I brought lots of fruits and veggies to work and I'm snacking on those foods all day.

Here's the truth for the day: It's all about balance. The days I ate poorly or just horrendously must be balance with days in which I exercise and eat right.

It's all in symmetry. Replace the bad days with the good days. The M&Ms with carrot sticks. The pizza slices with watermelon slices. I'm trying here... just want to be healthier!

Rationalize-er

Need this reality check. I'm a chronic rationalize-er, if that's a word. Since deciding to do the ViSalus 90 Day Challenge, I've had to do alot of reading on how to do the program and lose the weight. And I've come across a site I like. It speaks my language, man.

Excerpt: "To re-cap: we are aiming to consume what our body needs daily so that it has enough energy to burn fat and function properly."

Well, duh. I know that, but chose to ignore it. I ignored it because I rationalize that I like to cook. That I like to eat. That I'm a southern girl and that's just what we are: fluffy. Not so!

I was venting to a friend yesterday that I worry about getting on a diet because I tend to obsess and she remarked that you have to obsess in order to lose weight. I've been taking the negative side this weight loss thing and defeating myself before I even started... so why should I try to lose weight?

I've been thin nearly all my life with some exceptions, mainly after children and during high times of stress. I enjoyed being thin. So I'm ready to enjoy my life again. It has to be. I have a crap ton of old clothes in my attic that need me. I need to be able to tell my husband it's time to get those down.

Ok, enough already. Let's do this!

Feeling Challenged

So, here's the low down. I'm going to start the ViSalus 90 Day Challenge. Why? Because I have not lost the baby weight after I had Sloane. I need to. Now. And stop procrastinating.

I checked my BMI this morning and it was horrific. Like, beyond horrific, it was disturbing. I need to lose 30lbs. And my problem is Weight Watchers works, eating less works, but I want to not have to worry about planning a meal, counting calories or fussing over those details. I want to drink my nutrition and be able to be less stressed about what I'm eating.

I'm a student, mom to a toddler and teenager and work full time. I don't need anymore stress. I just need to lose weight!

Let's see how I do... I don't get my product for another week or so... so until then I'm exercising and cutting back on what I eat. Here we go!

Not a baby anymore

A friend of mine is having a bay girl in May. That said and with the husband's encouragement, I'm giving her Sloane's baby clothes. Seriously, it sounds very easy to do. Pack all the baby clothes and give them to this new mom. Ha, yea right.

After discovering the tiniest diaper I had ever seen in one of the boxes, I got a little weepy. It was a newborn diaper and it was the size of one of her cheeks now. *sigh*

anyhow, moving on and giving all those boxes of clothes to a mom who needs them. Lord knows I have no reason to hold on to them, other than silly sentimental reasons.

Pale is Pretty!

Something weighing heavy in my mind and heart is the biopsy I'm going to have done April 2 for a questionable mole on my leg.

I've had two spots removed from my forehead that proved to be basal cell carcinoma. Aka cancer.

The picture is of my forehead about a week ago where the second spot was removed. The first spot to the right is one inch in width that was removed with more of an event.

Ladies wear your sunscreen every day under your make up. I was in a tanning bed three times in my life, had a few sunburns as a child and I got skin cancer. Protect yourself! There's no excuse!

Ok. That's my public service announcement for now. Passing along some love!

Wonderful Weekend

Weekends are a time to refresh and spend quality time with those you love. And I did just that this weekend!

It started out with cooking a lovely meal courtesy of the Pioneer Woman for my father in law's birthday. I made perfect pot roast and chocolate sheet cake.

My lovely cooking assistant!

The pot roast is perfect. Seriously, it doesn't get better than this with roast!

 I felt the need to show you my recipe book and stand.

 Then we got a new couch and had to put the old one on the front porch because it would not find down in the basement. And the joke was since I'm from Mississippi, this is just what you do with your old couch.

 Husband and father-in-law

Husband got a new University of Oklahoma portable grill. Because he needed it. Like I needed this purse.

 We played outside, because it was so beautiful!!

And I ate way too much cake. It spoke to me each time I entered the kitchen. It was evil. And delicious. I have no shame!

Being Coached

I have an addiction... to Coach purses. It's not something I'm going to seek help with, however.

Love this one!

Coach is very crafty in that they have invited me to be part their invitation only online factory sales, and that's a bad thing. I always look at their sales, and sometimes even put purses in my online shopping cart, or four purses and wallets and act as if I'm going to check out with that much Coach loot, but of course, reality sets in that I'm not made of money and I close out the page and cry on the inside. Anyhow, I was invited to an exclusive online sale on the Coach outlet this week and I wanted to buy this purse, but I didn't do it.

I have been kicking myself in the butt ever since. I need this purse. Need. Not want. Need. Serious need.

so I bought it. For cheaper than the exclusive online sale. and my shipping was free. FREE!

Oh, I feel fulfilled now. Thank you. :)

International Delight Iced Coffee: New Product

Found a new product in the milk case this weekend while grocery shopping. International Delight has produced Iced Coffee. It comes in regular, vanilla or mocha. I was hoping for caramel to be part of the group, but none the luck. I grabbed the vanilla and prayed my $3.50 was not wasted!

It poured up very well, smelled good.  and it was! I'm in love! This is the before shot below.

Then it was gone and I was sad. But it's not too bad for you. It only costs $3.50 per half gallon versus what I would normally pay for a large iced coffee at the coffee shop. So I'm calling it a win. I have been attempting to make cold brew coffee and make my own iced coffee with shots of caramel and half and half, but it was NOT the same.

This is a winner in my book. 150 calories per cup. So the trick is to stick with just one serving. Ugh, not gonna be easy!

Good job International Delight!

Weighty issue

For some reason I had the unrealistic expectation that after I had Sloane, I would be right back into my pre-pregnancy jeans, slacks and work clothes. That I would spring back with no problem. That those trips to McDonald's in the morning (ok nearly every morning for the last month of pregnancy) wouldn't count and I would be "back." WRONG!

Yesterday morning I decided to try on my slacks for work. Yeah, that was funny. Couldn't even get them over my thighs! Ugh! Then I tried on the next size up slacks. Got them over my thighs but they are skin tight and I can't button them. So, I'm thinking another, another size up is sufficient. I don't own any. So I'm going to resort to buying new clothes so I can go back to work.

After that stupid decision yesterday morning to try on pre-pregnancy clothes, my mind went into a spin cycle of self hate. Wrong thing to do. This body, that weighs more than I'd like it to, gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who is healthy and thriving. I have somehow shifted my attention temporarily from the well being of my daughter to my selfish desire to be a certain size. Why?

One thing motherhood has taught me this go round, is that I don't have to show off my body to feel good about myself. I feel good about myself because there is a little girl that loves me. I don't have to wear clothes that show off certain features, I have to wear clothes that make me feel good.

All this means I have nothing to wear to work when I return in a few weeks. So I'm going to be hitting ebay hard for clothes that fit. Thought about selling the clothes I have that no longer fit on ebay but seriously... can't get that much for used clothes. Not worth the heartache.

In summary, I love my body, just the way it is right now. I am feeding my body healthy foods, taking a walk with the family just about every night and drinking plenty of water. But I'm also not going to neglect myself if I want a Dove chocolate a brownie or even a glass of wine or Dr. Pepper to seal my day.

So, love your body the way it is! Self hate gets you off track and off focus with anything in life.

Rainy day

It's beautifully rainy outside and I love it. I've lit a wintry candle in the kitchen, plan on making ham and potato soup for supper. The wind is going to blow from the north all day and be a little chilly outside. It's like a preview of Autumn coming in August. Before long it will be 100 degrees again, but for today it's 70 degrees for a high. What could be better?

Sloane has arrived!

That's right! Sloane Cote Moore was born July 16 at 9 a.m. weighing 7lbs 1oz and 20 1/4 inches long and she is lovely!

I had her via c-section and all was well. It took a while to get past the back pain from the epidural, which I did not expect.

Anyhow, Sloane is our darling little bundle of love and we can't get enough of her!

Just sayin' I love me some chick lit!

Alright, so I'm a die hard chick lit fan! I'm posting this on my lunch hour where I just ran to Subway for a sandwich, gonna scarf that down, then make this quick post and then go read my latest read by Jennifer Crusie, titled Crazy For You. Such a cute read so far. The front cover has a dog on it, so I'm hooked!

Now to my plug for another blog, Chick Lit Is Not Dead. Follow them on Facebook and read about all the great things Liz and Lisa do and write about. It will be like reading a memoir. Trust me! I wouldn't steer you wrong!

And believe me, I'm an emotional 9 month pregnant lady, I know these things!

Die hard soda fan

As I sit here drinking my apple juice, I've reached an realization. I haven't had a soda in about three or four days. No reason, just haven't had one. Have had hot tea or coffee in the morning for my daily buzz, then after that I drink water or whatever else is around.

So here's the realization part: sodas make me tired! They make me bloat and swell and Lord knows I don't need help in the swelling department being 9 months pregnant!

All this is fine and good and sounds fantastic... dropping sodas is good for my health. The only reason I started drinking them again was because initially in my pregnancy coffee really turned my stomach, so I switched to soda for my jolt for the day. And it just kept going, I didn't revert back to coffee once I was able to get past the initial uneasy stomach part of my pregnancy.

BUT... But, but... I love soda. It tastes so good. Right now there are three Strawberry Fantas, two Ginger Ales and a 12 pack of Dr. Pepper sitting in my fridge.... very cold and they stare at me every time I open the door. The sound of the top popping, the fizz of the carbonation, the feeling as you take that first drink... there is nothing like it. (ok, except maybe beer) *sigh*

Let's get to the real reason I felt compelled to post this... I feel great! My swelling is not as prevalent and this morning I was able to put on tennis shoes. Tennis shoes, people! I am 9 months pregnant, swell like a walrus, it's the end of June and I was able to put on tennis shoes. Like the ones I wore prior to getting pregnant. This is a significant event! Do I equate all of these great things to not drinking soda? Yes, I do. Absolutely. I'm sure the lack of carbonated beverages in my diet has helped my swelling somewhat and feeling so stinking good... it just has to be.

I will try to banish soda from my diet. I will try to make soda a treat on a very rare occassion and opt for the less carbonate more nutrious beverages. I need to start making those decisions now, so I can breast feed my baby safely and lose this baby weight as soon as she arrives!

Just sayin' Friday...

There are so many things I think about during the course of a day, week, month and year that I feel I should share them. Most of the time by the end of the week I have lots of opinions floating, so I'm starting a series of posts called "Just sayin' Friday" It will be an avenue for me to express my opinions about things from family life to politics or current events. If the topics get heavy, hold on, because there are many times in which I will return to complete triteness. It's the virgo in me!  So, here we go!

Many of you may not know, I am a news junkie or savvy. I read the news non-stop. In fact, I do that for a living. I skim the newspapers in my area for articles related to my industry: energy. But I can't help but read other headlines and subscribe to RSS feeds like a fiend. There is not much that happens without me knowing about it.

So, this morning as I was reading the news I came across this article. Recently, during the Congressional hearings about the BP spill in the Gulf Coast Texas representative Joe Barton issued an apology to BP for the American government running a shakedown of BP and basically stated he wasn't proud to serve or live in a country in that would do that to a company or individual. Shortly after, from immense pressure from Barton's colleagues, he retracted his apology to BP with threat to remove his political power without an apology.

My problem is this... whatever happened to convictions and sticking with them despite the social, political or economic backlash? This is easier said that done, granted, but I was proud of Mr. Barton's conviction during his apology to BP, albeit I don't necessarily agree with him, but he was convinced this is what he should do. Instead, he turned on his convictions threatened with the removal of his political power. Why? I should hope most people would stick with what they believed in despite threats, despite the political garbage that happens in D.C., but I was wrong. I was disappointed and still am. I don't live in Texas, had never heard of Representative Barton before the hearings, but certainly have heard of a coward before and Mr. Barton did not disappointment.

Erin's moral of the story: If you say it and mean it, stick with it.

The countdown begins!

Three weeks from tomorrow I will have my daughter! I'm nervous, excited and anxious all wrapped up in one emotion. Since I am a scheduled c-section, we got to pick our daughter's birthday, which is kind of neat, but also takes some of the fun out of the mystery of having a baby as well. I don't really have a choice about the c-section, since my son was delivered via emergency c-section, I'm probably going to always be a repeat c-section. Good point about having surgery... no labor! yay!

Her nursery isn't quite ready for her to be here, however. Hubby painted her room a pretty shade of pink, but it turned out more purplish because the family that owned this house before painted the room a dark purple. So the walls clash with her bedding and all the decorations I have for her room. Don't think the hubby will repaint for me. Might have to deal with it and paint it one day during maternity leave.

This is the bedding I picked out for her. Baby bedding apparently is the industry to be in, because this stuff is expensive, let me tell you! I was shocked, absolutely shocked when finding a beautiful set at Babies R Us that I could spend $150 and just get three pieces for the bed! OMG! I just couldn't part with that much money for something she will sleep in for about a year. So I settled on the below and let me tell ya, ebay is the way to go!