Weighty issue

For some reason I had the unrealistic expectation that after I had Sloane, I would be right back into my pre-pregnancy jeans, slacks and work clothes. That I would spring back with no problem. That those trips to McDonald's in the morning (ok nearly every morning for the last month of pregnancy) wouldn't count and I would be "back." WRONG!

Yesterday morning I decided to try on my slacks for work. Yeah, that was funny. Couldn't even get them over my thighs! Ugh! Then I tried on the next size up slacks. Got them over my thighs but they are skin tight and I can't button them. So, I'm thinking another, another size up is sufficient. I don't own any. So I'm going to resort to buying new clothes so I can go back to work.

After that stupid decision yesterday morning to try on pre-pregnancy clothes, my mind went into a spin cycle of self hate. Wrong thing to do. This body, that weighs more than I'd like it to, gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who is healthy and thriving. I have somehow shifted my attention temporarily from the well being of my daughter to my selfish desire to be a certain size. Why?

One thing motherhood has taught me this go round, is that I don't have to show off my body to feel good about myself. I feel good about myself because there is a little girl that loves me. I don't have to wear clothes that show off certain features, I have to wear clothes that make me feel good.

All this means I have nothing to wear to work when I return in a few weeks. So I'm going to be hitting ebay hard for clothes that fit. Thought about selling the clothes I have that no longer fit on ebay but seriously... can't get that much for used clothes. Not worth the heartache.

In summary, I love my body, just the way it is right now. I am feeding my body healthy foods, taking a walk with the family just about every night and drinking plenty of water. But I'm also not going to neglect myself if I want a Dove chocolate a brownie or even a glass of wine or Dr. Pepper to seal my day.

So, love your body the way it is! Self hate gets you off track and off focus with anything in life.