Today, I am less sore than yesterday even though I ran for 2.2 miles last night. My son went with me, which was funny because my pace is really slow right now and he is really fast from being in basketball. it's like the turtle and the hare. Yep, you guessed it, I'm the turtle. BUT I was able to run longer than his little fast legs did! Endurance baby!

Still tracking my food intake everyday, which previously before I started this trek seemed like a daunting task that weighed me down and tied me to realization that I can't eat certain foods. I have changed that attitude. Before I made my mind up that I am vehemently determined to lose weight I was have atrocious stomach pain after eating every day and every single meal. It was horrible. Since I started eating veggies, fruits, whole grain foods... guess what? no stomach pain. In fact, everything is 'regular' again if you catch my drift.

I thought I was going to be thrown for a loop this week when I was invited to a luncheon at work to celebrate all September work anniversaries. We are going to a new restaurant in town, which would really put me to the test in resisting really fattening foods. Thank goodness they have a menu online and I have been able to find what I will eat on Friday. It actually sounds very good: poached salmon salad with lemon poppy dressing. And healthy! I should be able to stick within my WW points and not feel guilty or hungry either!

This weekend however might prove a test. Hubby and I are meeting friends for a burger and beer bash. Great! not really. I have already bought MDG 64 for me to drink. I don't care if it tastes like piss water instead of beer, that's what I'm drinking. I'm getting some fresh lime and we're gonna make it happen. As for the burger, I will try to eat before hand and get full enough to not eat too much crap!
Now, if I could just resist the temptation to smoke while I have a beer in the other hand. It seems to go together, doesn't it? A cigarette and a beer, they are lovers and must be together. I need to keep in perspective that I'm a runner now, I can't smoke casually on weekends. Nope, can't do it.

Sore but determined

My horoscope for today is great! makes me feel very good about how things will work out for me. For once in my life I feel in control of my destiny. I feel as if there is nothing holding me back but me. And if that's all that is holding me back from having nice things and a slimmer waist... then bring it on! I can so totally do it!

Horoscope below:

"This is the ideal day for making plans. With Mercury, your ruler, turning direct in you birth sign after a lengthy period of retrograde motion your thoughts will be clear again -- and what you think today will be your reality tomorrow..."

Tomorrow, I will have exercised and eaten right... one meal at a time. One decision at a time.

Ready for Monday on a Tuesday

Ready for tomorrow astonishly! Had the day off (employer gives me a free one on in my b-day month, very nice). Got some things done. STUCK to my points and exercised. Wow, I'm amazing myself.

My lunch is made, which is monumental. But something I hope to make a habit. I am determined not to give up.

I ran 2.4 miles in thirty minutes. Had a lot of stopping and starting, but I did the best I could! I did a lot better than I thought. Still working on the iPod mix. It's a work in progress. If I hear something on the television, radio or tv program, I'm downloading. What ever inspires me makes it to my running mix. Which is ironically named Angry Running. Because I'm angry that I've gotten up to this weight!

She's a runner

I have always struggled with my weight, even though many would look at me and say I'm not overweight. However, it's a personal thing. I am not comfortable with my weight right now and so I'm on a quest to get back to the steel trap I was previously. What do you mean by that you ask?

Well... for years and years my mouth was a steel trap. I did not allow anything past my lips with sugar or high amounts of fat. My daily diet included grits and chicken sausage for b'fast, Subway sandwich or salad for lunch and a baked chicken breast for dinner. That was it. If I wanted a snack I would sneak a few pretzels. I lost quite a bit of weight that way.

Insert husband who eats like trash and very, very slowly I start to introduce foods like homemade onion rings, steak, sodas, homemade ice cream and the such. Stopping at Sonic and getting a cherry limeade (not the diet version, mind you!) and cheese sticks is a norm... hence I have gained about 20 pounds in about a year. Not cool. My jeans are not fitting nicely anymore and I'm starting to form a muffin top. YUCK!

I have posted before that I previously joined Weight Watchers, but have been on the yo-yo for following the plan very steadily. SO, yesterday morning I wake up and go for a run. Haven't gone for a jog since May of this year. It was tough and I'm pretty sore today, but I plan on going again today.

If you have ever needed help losing weight, try Weight Watchers. Seriously, it works. Get over whatever you are holding on to and just join. Try a meeting locally or do it online. Stick with your points and exercise and you WILL lose weight. no doubt. I have done it, my sister has done it... google it. There are tons of people who have lost weight with WW. It's a great program. There are tons of recipes on their site. They give good advice on how to stick with it. Just do it!

Hopefully today after I run, I'll go out and do it again the next day. That's how I'm going to live, day-to-day and sometimes it's meal to meal. There is a huge tub of Halloween candy that I bought in the living room which I have previously delved into unrelentlessly but for the past two days, I haven't touched it. Trying to stay strong and lose these 20 pounds! wish me luck!

My husband is great....

My husband is great.  He's my solid rock that balances my crazy, wild tendency to quit my goals and scurry off into a corner and hide when things get hard.

Often, I want to quit college and quit working and just quit whatever it is that I'm doing because it's hard or difficult or painful or not going my way. Whichever the reason, I am just a habitual quitter. Sunday, laying in the floor of our dining room while he was taking apart something (pretty typical around our house) I told him I wanted to quit college. He said okay, whatever I wanted to do, but very gently and diplomatically reminded me while I started college in the first place. I somehow had forgotten I had started school for self satisfaction. The pressure at the end of school to go to college was tremendous. All my friends did it, why didn't I? In fact, all my friends went beyond the Bachelor's degree and have Masters. I have a GED. Nice.

So dammit. The husband was right, I was giving up on me. Again. I always give up on me. I can't do that. I have that I do that. Why do I do that? some weird childhood thing? Dunno. Nonetheless. Husband helped me put college back into perspective for me and he's incredible. Love him, love him, love him. Hopefully I am just as supportive and good for him as he is good for me.

Transformation

Today I had a refreshing thing happen to me. As I was pulling back up to work in my personal car after meeting a wrestler from the 1970's WWF era (long story) I thought I kept hearing something wrong with my car, like something was scraping.

It so happens our office is being re-stuccoed (that a word?) and there were workers outside the building. An older Hispanic man started pointing at my car underneath and was telling me something is very broken English. I looked where he was pointing and saw a HUGE piece of plastic had come loose and was dragging. This very kind man laid down on the concrete and helped me pull out the piece of plastic. Another worker also came over to help. WOW! That was so refreshing, so very simple to many people but it was the moment of kindness that I needed. I couldn't stop smiling at these two gentlemen for what they did for me. They truly were gentlemen.


Seriously, lately I have been one crabby ass chick. Nothing has made me happy, I have spent hundreds if not a thousand dollars on clothes, shoes, purses, jewelry, sunglasses but nothing has made me happy in the last six weeks!!! I have posted about how I hate my job, my boss, my co-worker... you name it I bitched about it. (sorry for the negative vibes) Not to mention my hormones were completely whacked out. hadn't had a cycle in fifty days! Geez, no wonder I'm all effed up.

So, today I'm going through my normal "I hate my boss" routine and it hits me as I'm looking at my bank account which is exceptionally low, lower than I normally let it go but I got "shop crazy" the past fifty days... So it hits me. It hits me that I have THE best job I have EVER had, making more money that I know what to do with and I'm considering pissing it away for what? To prove a point that my boss in an immature idiot? I've figured that out already. I know he's a nimcompoop, I know he's not qualified for his job, but what does that have to do with me and my happiness? I realized today I need to be thankful for what I have. I normally avoid saying cheesy ass lines like this but, I am blessed. I have everything I need and then some.

I am changing my attitude slowly but surely. I think I'm getting back on track to the smart ass, whitty humored girl I normally am, just viewing life from a laid back perspective. Kind of like in the picture above of me and my husband in Hawaii on our honeymoon in May. Good times, good times.

And, plus if I quit this great paying job we can't buy the perfect house that we've found and I couldn't shop as much as I like and things would be very different, putting a lot of stress on my husband... all because of my temper tantrums!

Motivation!

Rejoined Weight Watchers today. Gotta get these negative, negative thoughts out of my head!

This was inspirational from the WW Web site and I really, really needed it!

"With our thoughts we make the world." -Buddha.

Negative thoughts creep into most people's minds. But for some of us, they kind of take over—and we don't even realize it's happening. Negative thoughts come in the form of all-or-nothing thinking, ("I'm never eating chocolate again!"), absolute thinking ("I should" or "I ought"), and self-fulfilling prophecies ("I can't").

We believe what we tell ourselves. And what we tell ourselves shows up in what we do. That's why these kinds of negative thoughts are dangerous: if you expect to fail, you probably will; if you set unrealistic expectations, you probably won't meet them, you'll be disappointed...and then your mind will flood with more negative thoughts.